You Owe Him Nothing

37465687_mIt was the end of the day and I could not wait to get home from school. Just before the final bell rang, an office TA walked in with a bouquet of flowers and a card. The room erupted with remarks about, someone having an admirer. Much to my surprise the long stem roses were for me. The card attached said, “What does a guy have to do to get on your busy calendar to take you out?”

When the bell rang, I ran to my car trying to avoid running into him. The roses were beautiful but I did not want to go on a date with him. I felt like I was somehow obligated to accept his invitation because he bought flowers for me.

When my dad came home he asked me about the flowers and I explained my dilemma. I will never forget what my dad told me. He said, “You do not owe this boy or any other man that comes along, anything. You did not ask for the flowers, he bought them for you because he chose to on his own.” My dad went on to say that I was never to feel obligated to any man who bought me something or was nice to me. My dad also told me that I should never go out with someone I was not interested in and that if a guy made me feel like it was an obligation, I should tell him, “I owe you nothing.”

That next day at school he asked when I was available to go out. I very nicely explained to him that I was not interested and said, “Thank you for the flowers.” He was not very happy about my nicely put “no thank you” and told me that he had spent his money on the flowers so I at least owed him one date. The wise words of my dad blared like a bullhorn in my head. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “My father told me that I owe no man anything. You chose to buy flowers but that doesn’t mean I owe you a date.” I know he was not happy but he seemed to clearly understand what my dad told me and he accepted it and moved on.

The words of my father are for you too. You never owe a man anything because he bought you something or was kind to you. If you think that you need to go out with someone because you feel obligated, that is a red flag. Healthy relationships do not start out of a sense of obligation. Never allow someone to pressure you into a date and if a “no thank you” is not enough to get your point across, go to your parents and tell them what is happening. In the words of my dad, “you owe him nothing.”


Originally Written for the Whatever Girls.



What is important to you is important to your Father in heaven

On day while I was standing in the kitchen at our family cabin, washing dishes like a good midlife domestic goddess. I looked out the window and I could see my two nephews sitting at the picnic table playing with their hot-wheel cars.   They were both very intent on what they were doing and it made me smile to see them play with their cars.  As I stood there and doing the dishes my brother walked out and sat down at the table with them to partake in the hot wheel driving around the table.

I stood there with my heart overflowing with joy as I watched my brother interact with his sons. My brother is a great dad and what is important to his sons is important to him. There were so many other things at that moment that could be done but my brother saw his boys doing something that they enjoyed and he chose to take part in it. It was hard to tell who was getting more joy out of driving the cars; the boys seemed so happy to have their Dad join them and my brother seemed blessed to spend time with his sons.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Standing there and watching them and it hit me that God wants to be a part of everything we do. We have a heavenly father who wants to be a part of our lives. What is important to us is important to him.  One of my favorite things is to get in a work out and I love to invite God to join me in my worship music and in my prayer time as I take a walk or a jog. When we allow God to join in our daily activities the blessing is a two-way street. We are blessed by the father’s presence and he delights in spending time with us.

Just like my brother who is full of love for his boys, God is full of love for us. He longs to be in our day-to-day life, to enjoy our highs and to carry us through our lows.  No matter what it is, our Father in heaven who wants to join us in everything we do.