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In God’s eyes, I am…..

DSC_0272edited (1)God has a sense of humor! He woke me up last week with “she wakes before her family.” As I lay in bed, bits and pieces of Proverbs 31 were rolling through my head. I tried to close my eyes and ignore it but God was persistent. I heard “she is up before the sun” in my spirit. I climbed out of bed, let the dogs out and fed them, got a coffee cup for myself, grabbed my husband’s hot chocolate, and had it waiting by the coffee pot with a cup for him. A warm blanket was beckoning me from the couch so I grabbed my Bible and my Bible study and dug into the Word.

When my husband came out of the bedroom to grab his coffee, I laughed as I said, “God woke me up and told me that I am a Proverbs 31 woman.” Not part of a specific ministry, but God wanted me to understand how the concepts of this chapter applied to my life. I shared my rationale with my husband.

I was up before my family, I was up before it was light (daylight saving time helped make that possible), I had tended to the animals (that got a chuckle out of him), and I had his coffee cup all ready for his mocha.

For years I have felt inferior to the woman written about in Proverbs 31. If I could get a show of hands, I wonder how many other women would feel the same way. At times, I am a train wreck in the kitchen. I burn things; I add the wrong ingredient – only some of the time. If you read my Thanksgiving post you heard about the turkey that was steamed, baked, and set on the barbecue before it made it to the table. Just last week I had a pair of my undies stuck to a dishtowel from static cling. Thankfully my grown son who was helping clean the kitchen did not see the undies in the towel he was holding. The woman described in Proverbs 31 would never have her unmentionables in the kitchen!

For a whole week, God continued to wake me up early speaking the words of Proverbs 31 in my spirit. Yet I tried to avoid reading the chapter. Recently I have been studying who I am in Christ.  I find it easy to believe that I am redeemed in Christ, adopted into the Family of God, and a needed part of the Body of Christ. Those were just some of the things I found to be true in my search of the Bible, and yet for some reason I continued to be hung up on being like the woman described in Proverbs 31. She seems to be everything I am not.

One morning after my study, I was feeling a bit defeated because I could not get that perfect lady out of my head. God began to push back with His Word. Bits and pieces of the chapter I had been avoiding for years began to come to mind. He showed me what was written in Proverbs 31, doesn’t describe just one woman. The “she” is every woman who walks with the Lord. In my heart, God was showing me the qualities of many godly women. “She” is every woman who puts God first. Being the kind of godly woman shown in the chapter may look different for each of us based on where in the world we live, whether we work outside the home or at home, or if we are married or single. What each of us has in common is that we bring honor to God in all we do.

I began to realize why God brought me to this chapter. I was studying who I was in Christ and God was trying to show me that He saw me as someone I never thought I could be. I wonder if I am striking a chord in the hearts of others who feel the same way. Maybe even your heart? For years I thought she was some super woman who I could never hold a candle to. Again I wish I could see a show of hands. I know I am not the only woman to have thought, “Me? The woman in Proverbs 31? Yeah, right.”

I decided to read the chapter with an open heart and God showed me that I was worth more than rubies. I have virtue and a huge heart filled with His love that I want to share with others. He showed me that I was choosing to honor Him in my walk. As I read further, I was reminded that I have a healthy fear of Him and that I seek His wisdom and wait on His timing

FullSizeRenderI am like the woman in Proverbs 31. Yes, I make mistakes. My house is not always perfectly cleaned. I order pizza at times because my day was crazy but my walk honors God. My works are for Him and are done because of His love in me.

God looks at your heart not the dinner you put on the table. He would rather have you serve a PB and J sandwich made from a heart of love than a gourmet dinner made from a place of bitterness or obligation. My hope is that you will see who you are in God and never compare yourself to someone else like I did.

God loves you and you are worth more than rubies. You were bought with a price and it is the blood of Christ. You belong to the Body of Christ and you matter. You, my sister, are fearfully and wonderfully created and if you struggle with seeing yourself as God sees you, I hope you press into the Word of God and find God’s truth for your life.

Is there a scripture or scriptures that you cannot believe to be true for you? If there is, please take it to the Lord and ask Him to show you His truth and who you are in Him. You might be just as surprised as I was to find out that you too are like the woman described in Proverbs 31.

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Never Leave Wiggle Room For Doubt

Originally Posted on Living Better 50

When my daughter was little she had a knack for wiggling herself right in between my husband and I. Whether we were sitting, standing or, laying in bed, she would wiggle herself right in. It became a joke with us. We would sit as close as we could on the couch and in no time she would be on our laps. Than it started, her famous wiggle. It was such a subtle movement that she used and before long she would be sitting between us. Every time she accomplished this she would look up at us with her big brown eyes and a little wry smile as if to say, “look what I just did”.

Screen Shot 2015-01-04 at 9.06.40 PMWith our daughter we could let our guard down. We could leave her wiggle room. There are some things however that we cannot let our guard down to. Doubt is one of those things. If we give doubt any wiggle room you better believe it will wiggle it’s way in. Trust me, when doubt wiggles in it won’t be looking up at you with big brown eyes like those of my little girl. On the contrary, it will sit there with an “Eddie Haskell” like smile on its face. You know the kind of look that says, “Trust me I would never lead you astray”-wink, wink. The truth is, doubt wants nothing more than to lead you so far off track that you no longer believe what is true to be true.

As I was asked to write for different things, doubt began to creep in. It pulled up a seat next to me with its “Eddie Haskell” smile and tried to take to me off track. Doubt tried to make me believe there was no way I would be able to do the one thing I had prayed God would open the door for me to do. I had prayed about writing for a ministry for mothers and daughters and I prayed about writing for this a magazine. Yet, as God began to open the doors I began to doubt I had the ability to do it. I started to feel God had called the wrong person.

Yep, doubt had snuggled in between God’s promises and myself. I had to get it out of the way so I did the one thing I knew would work. I gave my doubt to God. Raising my shield of faith I prayed:

“God you opened this door so I trust you will give me what I need to write about. Please give me your words, the topics, and take my pride out of the way so that my words are your words. Please God remove the doubt”

I told God that I felt like Moses who did not have the words. I knew God sent Moses’s brother to be his helper and I asked Him to give me a helper too. That night as I slept God sent me a helper. He sent the Holy Spirit to help me. I woke up singing this scripture.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Matthew 6:33 (KJV).

God showed me that night if I seek Him first and trust Him with my writing, he would give me just what I needed. In that moment doubt was kicked out of the comfortable seat it had made next to me. God had opened this door and I had to trust that He would not open the door and leave me standing there empty with nothing to say.

God has given me what I need to write for both places. My writing began to come easier as I have trusted Him. Still, I was faced with another issue. I am not the best when it comes to spelling and my punctuation is sometimes all wrong. This time however when doubt tried to wiggle back it failed. I was now tightly pressed into God so that doubt could not wiggle back in and I trusted that God would send me another helper. My prayers were that God would help me find a friend who could do some editing. Sure enough He came through with that and I didn’t even have to go looking for her. God would cross my path with godly woman who was an editor and is now someone I can call my friend. Doubt no longer had a strong hold on me.

If you find yourself doubting what God has for you the best thing you can do is to take that doubt right back to Him in prayer and ask Him to show you his truth. You need to believe that God is not going to open a door and than leave you standing there with nothing but doubt in front of you. If God has called you to do something and you feel He as called the wrong person think again. It is most often the person who seems the least qualified that God chooses. Remember, with Him anything is possible.

Our daughter is 19 now and if she ever wants to wiggle in between us you better believe we will give her all the room she needs. As far as doubt goes I learned an important lesson and I am not going to give it any wiggle room.

With the New Year upon us, and the resolutions you have made, it is important to grab a hold of God tightly and never leave wiggle room for doubt in anything.

Happy New Year

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